I don't hate children, but I don't want any of my own. When I see children being loud or obnoxious or generally annoying in public, I feel a great sense of relief that they aren't my responsibility, that at the end of the day, I get to go home to my nice quiet apartment, where nothing is baby-proofed, and the cupboard full of liquor is at ground level. Sometimes I even proclaim my relief out loud. In crowded restaurants when a 4 year old has a melt down and starts screaming and kicking the table, for instance, I've several times smiled at my dining companions and said, "I'm so glad I don't have children."
This doesn't stop me from also smiling and appreciating children in public places for being tiny humans just discovering the world. Just the opposite, in fact. I am more likely to appreciate children, and to sympathise with them for having to deal with unpleasant things because I know I don't have to have any. I have that choice. Yay!
i think a lot of my distaste comes from working retail. i have the pleasure of small shrieking people depositing half-eaten sticky crap in my hand every day -- when they're not busy crashing into me on roller-skates, demanding balloons, trying to kill eachother with various blunt objects, or staring at me. the wonder wears thin, after a while.
but what i objected to in that thread, i think, was the implication that if you should ever be so hateful and cruel as to say that you dislike children, or if you should call them silly nicknames, OMG UR A BIGOT!!!1!@! i've heard this before, and i still think it's ridiculous. often i don't mind kids. sometimes i even like them. hell, i've taught kids, and they're often easier to teach than adults, and more fun. but i hardly think rolling my eyes occasionally makes me a bigot. you know?
i'm also rather painfully aware (again, retail!) that even when you're a grownup, you often don't have a choice when it comes to being where you want to be and doing what you want to do. and so my sympathy ebbs. which is kind of awful of me, perhaps, but it still doesn't make me a bigot. if anything, it's a kind of grim sympathy: we're both stuck.
I like children on the whole, but I don't see how the hell hating them is bigotry. Bigotry is hatred of the Other, but every one of us has been a child, and we drove plenty of people crazy in restaurants too. It's part of childhood. We grew out of it, and we know that so will they.
Also: I think children are really different when you love them. Not that they don't act incredibly obnoxious on a regular basis or anything, but you see more of the Awesome Kid Moments - and in any case, you're more likely to forget the rest of it.
With you on the grim sympathy thing, Annelet. One a plane with four very unhappy children under the age of 3, no one wants to be there. In retail, same deal. I just wanted to say I don't hate them. I don't. Really. But if I want to call children obnoxious brats at times, it doesn't make me a bigot. I'm on your side there.
4 Comments:
I don't hate children, but I don't want any of my own. When I see children being loud or obnoxious or generally annoying in public, I feel a great sense of relief that they aren't my responsibility, that at the end of the day, I get to go home to my nice quiet apartment, where nothing is baby-proofed, and the cupboard full of liquor is at ground level. Sometimes I even proclaim my relief out loud. In crowded restaurants when a 4 year old has a melt down and starts screaming and kicking the table, for instance, I've several times smiled at my dining companions and said, "I'm so glad I don't have children."
This doesn't stop me from also smiling and appreciating children in public places for being tiny humans just discovering the world. Just the opposite, in fact. I am more likely to appreciate children, and to sympathise with them for having to deal with unpleasant things because I know I don't have to have any. I have that choice. Yay!
i think a lot of my distaste comes from working retail. i have the pleasure of small shrieking people depositing half-eaten sticky crap in my hand every day -- when they're not busy crashing into me on roller-skates, demanding balloons, trying to kill eachother with various blunt objects, or staring at me. the wonder wears thin, after a while.
but what i objected to in that thread, i think, was the implication that if you should ever be so hateful and cruel as to say that you dislike children, or if you should call them silly nicknames, OMG UR A BIGOT!!!1!@! i've heard this before, and i still think it's ridiculous. often i don't mind kids. sometimes i even like them. hell, i've taught kids, and they're often easier to teach than adults, and more fun. but i hardly think rolling my eyes occasionally makes me a bigot. you know?
i'm also rather painfully aware (again, retail!) that even when you're a grownup, you often don't have a choice when it comes to being where you want to be and doing what you want to do. and so my sympathy ebbs. which is kind of awful of me, perhaps, but it still doesn't make me a bigot. if anything, it's a kind of grim sympathy: we're both stuck.
I like children on the whole, but I don't see how the hell hating them is bigotry. Bigotry is hatred of the Other, but every one of us has been a child, and we drove plenty of people crazy in restaurants too. It's part of childhood. We grew out of it, and we know that so will they.
Also: I think children are really different when you love them. Not that they don't act incredibly obnoxious on a regular basis or anything, but you see more of the Awesome Kid Moments - and in any case, you're more likely to forget the rest of it.
With you on the grim sympathy thing, Annelet. One a plane with four very unhappy children under the age of 3, no one wants to be there. In retail, same deal. I just wanted to say I don't hate them. I don't. Really. But if I want to call children obnoxious brats at times, it doesn't make me a bigot. I'm on your side there.
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