we also set the fume hood on fire, but it's okay, we put it out

what happens when the Englishman Practicum is led by an actual Englishman:

"you mean you actually DO heat up the mug first?"
"that can't make any difference."
"oh, but it absolutely does."
"and the milk?"
"oh yes. although, to be honest, i don't expect it makes much difference with your american tea. why do you put staples in the bags?"
"so they don't fall apart."
"but what do the bags do?"
...

"what is a crumpet?"
"and what is a scone?"
"you can have them both for tea. a crumpet is also... well... a sort of euphamism."
"a euphamism for what?"
"for, er, a woman. that you're, er, interested. in."
"...'interested in' like in an unwholesome way?"
"er, no. no, in a perfectly wholesome way. wholesome and... buttery."
"so, like, someone you'd want to have over for tea and crumpets?"
"well, that sounds not quite as wholesome..."