edit: ignore. tourniquet lives!

to sway me toward attending, they sent me a copy of the lattimore Iliad. it's shiny.

i officially take back most of the mean things i said about the Financial Aid Office. although they have still managed to get my information wrong in preparing and tendering my aid offer, and i now have to call them up and get them to do it all over again. the offer they gave me was startlingly generous, but included room and board despite my living off campus. but so we go again.

aaaaand financial aid is already being a massive, massive dick to me. there's a positive sign. i like how the dude thinks that his massive dickitude is totally excused and made understandable by the fact that he uses phrasings like "philosophy of education". i mean, obviously, if i try, as a married, financially independent 25 year old who has already paid off one student loan, who has been responsible for paying for my own education for over three years, and who has no contact with her parents, to be considered as (gasp!) a financially independent student, the problem is that i am disrespecting The Philosophy Of Education!

it appears, in fact, that his "philosophy of education" is, in fact, a "philosophy of not giving out financial aid". i've already accepted that the st. john's "philosophy of education" involves not giving free or reduced-cost admission to the spouses of full time employees, but it also apparently involves getting me to force my few-years-from-retirement, in-considerable debt single mother to shell out for (another) undergraduate education. unless of course i try to hit up my father, which would involve googlestalking him, since i have had no contact with him in nearly twenty years. in point of fact, financial aid wants me to provide information for BOTH of them, so they can determine my aid package accordingly, whether or not said parents are able or willing to provide any money to me at all.

according to the federal government guidelines, i am an emancipated, independent student several fucking times over. but then, the federal government doesn't have a "philosophy of education". when they don't feel like helping students succeed, they just explain it by pointing to budget cuts.

if it were yesterday, i could've blamed zombies

so since moving, three disks have arrived from netflix.

all three of them have been broken.

not scratched, mind you. shattered. in small and tiny fragments. shards, even.

someone must pay. this time, they broke Invader Zim, damnit! i had plans for that disk! plans involving thin mint icecream and brownies and fun times IT IS NOT FAIR and the post office is closed now so i can't even go yell at anyone and i am so sad.

well, I still hate children.

i have big bruises all up and down my forearms and I Do Not Want To Go To Work Today.

oh and hey did i mention the part where i don't have to use AOL anymore? because i have cable internets? because i don't. and i do. and it's even my own cable internets and i don't have to steal it from the neighbours by standing next to the window and angling the computer until i get a signal, hoping the atmospherics are favourable today. and i can have internets on the couch, or on the floor, or in the kitchen. i bet i could even have it in my bed. let's see!

linksys technical support is basically the awesomest thing ever. and i reply to comments after consuming massive celebratory slabs of beef. why celebration? my own! personal! internet!

so i got into st. john's.

somehow it seems kinda anticlimactic, after all this time.

any thoughts on whether i should enroll as a JF or wait til fall '09?